Cold december wind slaps my face as i walk the street ateneans call jacinto..and if it weren't for those christmas songs played on the carinderia's radio and buging (wonder if i spelled his name right)reminding me of their gifts, this surely wouldnt feel like christmas. dejavu perhaps; the wind, the atmosphere.. or is it a nightmare? i dont know how you would call it.. but she's back. yes, the ghost of my xmas past.
dejavu ; its happening all over again. it was this time of the year 2006 when the same things were taking to place..crying myself to sleep.. "us" not talking, "us" only talking when fighting, him only noticing me when looking for something.. and the most familiar figures: bruises, my left arm once again not it in it's healthy mode. and lumps on my head that dont go away, some do try to, but they always get renewed.. and, yeah.. how could i forget the thousands of hair strands that leave my scalp?
it was early november when i heard of her coming back to town, hmm.. well, for the record, ive been a first hand witness to the manifestations. i tried to ignore it but fate wouldnt let me. and just like a shadow.. she carried on with everything.. making it look like she never left. a FRIEND of theirs said that it's no issue..because SHE is in love with the FRIEND. i know its nothing.. how would i lose something that i dont even own in the first place? everybody's made for somebody.. and as for me..im always the leech that's so hard to get rid of.. and yet so irritating to be with.people around me would die to see me go.. that's how unwanted i am. and so im back to the basics: atleast i have the undying love my son and my mom has for me..and i guess im just going to have to live with that.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment